The Bizzare Life Of Heidi Parr

  So, as of August 24th, I am unemployed for the first time in 3 years. 

  And I found out that I won't be getting my RV for up to another 4 weeks, instead of tomorrow. 

  Bummer dude. Big bummer.

  Fortunately for me, I still am living with my mother and she isn't pressing me for rent. But I've decided to use this time to work on the little details of my life. First step is tomorrow, I'm going to go to DHS and apply for food stamps and free healtcare, despite how much I despise government aid programs. I genuinely wish they didn't exist. But right now, I do appreciate the fact they they do indeed exist, because I don't know how I'm going to be able to afford to feed myself until I get a new job, and I never had healthcare to begin with. So maybe being unemployed will help my odds for getting approved. 

  I lost my job because I was tardy often, but this specific occasion was not really typical for a firing I guess. I had tried to gently quit a few times before, but it was too hard to directly say "Here's my two week notice, I'm outie." My employers were more like family than bosses. I tried to say "Can you cut my hours and then stop scheduling me after two months? I'm looking for a new job with benefits and something closer to home." And the response I got was "I can drive you to DHS and we can get you set up with healthcare and foodstamps, no worries. We really want to keep you here." But the real reason I wanted to quit was because I was simply tired of my job. 

  I worked at a shop selling crystals, incense, religious stuff, clothes, etc. My job was to tell people the magic power of rocks. Yeah, seriously. I half heartedly believed rocks might contain some potential to do something for you when I was younger, because who doesn't want to believe that magic rocks exist? But after working there for a year, I fully realized it was made up garbage that simply provided a plecebo effect and truly did nothing. People with cancer, people with no money, people who wanted talk to their dead beloved ones, would come in asking for a rock to fix their problems. And it killed me every time I had to lie to someone and tell them that some pebble from the arizona desert would cure all their problems. "Oh yes, this will bring you money! Just keep it in your wallet." or "This one will help with your cancer. It absorbs negative energy and disperses it into positive energy." It killed me deep inside every time. 

  After a while, I tried to comprimise with myself and only sell really cheap rocks so no one was truly hurt by it. I'd tell myself, "Maybe the plecebo effect will do them some good in rare cases..? Everyone needs a little hope when times are tough." But then I got a new coworker. And let me tell you, this delusional fucking asshole, would prey on anyone who came into the store, and press them to buy extremely expensive stones. I've seen countless people who were severely in debt spend THOUSANDS on their credit card because this buy pushed them to. They thought it would help them out tremendously in the long run and pull them out of their debt. I hated and still hate him so much. Really naive people who were holding onto nothing but hope would get their money sucked right out of them. And we didn't get paid on comission, he just got off on it. 

  A little description of this guy, before I get back on topic. I promise it's related. This guy genuinely talked to himself. Like heard voices and spoke back. It wasn't uncommon to catch him talking to himself in the back stock room. He told me he thought I was an alien being from outer space, and he believed that he was too. Once he told me that his life partner hadn't been reincarnated yet, and that they were a blue avian being that lived on a different dimension. I shit you the fuck not. I don't know how this guy hadn't been locked away in a nut house. The thing that bothered me the least about him was that he didn't like me. He made it his job to make my life difficult, and repeatedly tried to get me fired. So, going to work and dealing with him was quite infuriating. I had to talk myself into showing up often, and sometimes I'd show up late because I could only barely get myself to do so. He'd outright insult me often when the bosses weren't paying attention, which I chose not to make their buisiness. I'd like to think I'm above that sort of behavior at the very least. 

  So, my employers hated him too. They were searching for a way to fire him so that they didn't have to pay the unemployment office 15,000 dollars. You have to have a reason to fire someone like stealing, agression towards employees, etc. etc. Mike was very suave about how he behaved around my bosses, and I'm not the type to narc. So they were having a hard time. The day before I got fired, they wrote up a contract and had me sign it saying that if I was late again before the end of the year, I'd get fired. Their reason for writing me up was supposedly so they didn't get sued or anything if my shitty coworker got fired and I didn't, because I obviously had more reason to be fired. This guy was a gay drag queen on the side, so he could easily play the discrimination card. I have no clue if that was their genuine reason or not, but they both seemed surprised and hurt that the day after I signed the contract, I didn't show up.

  Now, I didn't exactly do it on purpose. In no way, shape, or form, did I want to be unemployed and panicking over it. But maybe some part of me in the back of my head said "It's not worth waking up and going in anymore." I had been woke up several times that day, and every time I'd fall back asleep without a second thought, whereas usually I would panic, get dressed, and zoom out the door last minute and skeet in barely on time.

  I think my subconcious did me a serious solid, because the instant I recieved the phone call of my boss very apologetically saying I was fired, I lightly cried for about 15 minutes because I felt horrible about what I did to them, and then I felt more relieved than I can possibly describe. It was like the day I got out of jail and I realized I would be able to live the rest of my young life exactly how I wanted to. I could finally have a 21st birthday, which my job neglected to allow me to take off because I had to work since it would be Christmas season. I was, and still continue to be, ecstatic. I'm going to try and find a part time at a pet store or something akin to it, and work towards my ultimate end goal. I've had enough of lying for a living, and working with certifiably insane people. I'd rather deal the typical work drama than that any day. 

  And as the RV goes, I am extremely dissapointed I'll have to wait even longer, but it will give me a chance to sort my stuff out a bit before I begin a big project. The RV project is taking longer because I have to wait for the current owners to reorder the title since their children defaced it quite a bit, and my mom said it would be a horrible idea to get a partially taped back together, and severaly stained title. And it appearantly takes 2-4 weeks to recieve in the mail. 

  But yeah, that's how I've been doing. Ever the stress filled life on my end. But maybe this little bit of change can bring me to a better place in life. After having lived a long time with a very pessimistic and dismal view on life, the past few years of trying out positive thinking has brought me into a lot of unique and amazing situations. I am exactly the type of person that would get into a strangers car beause they have a dog(which I have done, and I made a really good friend that way), or try the strange drug someone offers(it was fun, but I wouldn't suggest anyone else try that lol), or even meet up with a shifty person off of the internet(he wasn't that shifty in person, just obviously awkward. I never met up with him again though). I'm not saying you should be that person that always just goes with the flow, in fact I would discourage it. But it's worked pretty well for me as long as I apply just the smallest bit of common sense. Like, obvious weapons are a big no no unless they're holstered or put away. I also stay away from people who shoot stuff up. That's a whole different breed of human. 

  I'll just sign off with this, never lose hope when shitty stuff happens to you. Everything in this world is temporary, and things can always change for the better if you try to be better yourself. There's always going to be bad people and bad things that happen, but if you keep yourself above that, you'll always do well.